The Magnitude of Gravity
by thisisonlineright
Summary: Sheldon doesn't choose Penny, and she will do everything to get back at him. Rated M for sexual content and dark themes and characters. /ON HIATUS
1. unequivocal

**Alternate descriptions: No matter how hard they try to stay away, they'll always be drawn to each other. / There are just some things that are inevitable.**

**Even though I told myself time and time again that I would never do another M story, here I am, with another one. Sighs heavily. ****  
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**When this is supposed to be set, I'm not really sure, as I haven't really thought about it, but let's just say that it's in the near future. This fic assumes that the two canons have broken up, and the reason to how Shenny got together will be revealed in a later chapter. **

**Also, this chapter is the prologue, and the actual story starts in the next two chapters, just saying.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Big Bang Theory or its characters, or its dwindling and disappointing storyline that made me concoct this fic. What I do own is the plot, the mistakes that I've missed and I don't know, the smut. This story will have its fair share of lemons, and will eventually have both dark!Sheldon and dark!Penny, so please be warned. The darkness won't be enough to destroy lives, or cause you to kill me, and it's not even as dark as I'm letting it out to be, but it is dark compared to every other fic I've ever done. Obsessions and vengeances aren't kid friendly. Un-beta'd.**

**With that said, welcome to the prelude of The Magnitude of Gravity. Enjoy!**

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_unequivocal_ (adjective) - not equivocal; unambiguous; clear; having only one possible meaning or interpretation; leaving no doubt:

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Penny was never sure when everything had started—_why_ it started—but once it did, they never stopped.

She was talking about her trysts with Sheldon.

There really wasn't anything special about Sheldon; he wasn't the tallest, nor the bulkiest, nor the handsomest guy she had been with—he was definitely the smartest—but for some reason, she just couldn't keep herself away from him. And that was saying a lot especially with all of his annoying traits; like how he brought himself as if he was greater than all of them, or his annoying habit of talking when no one cared, or how he looked down on her cause she was a _community_ college _dropout_, or his clear blue eyes and how it lit up when he did something he liked.

How it darkened whenever she kissed him—or when he kissed her—it didn't really matter right now.

His large hands and how firm they were when he held her; how they roamed her body like he had never touched her before. Those long fingers of his that he dragged across her skin as he brought his mouth to hers—it wasn't fair. It really wasn't fair that she was so attracted to him and couldn't stay away from him. It isn't fair—was what she murmurs to herself before she pulls him towards her. She was some sort of metal, and he was a magnet that drew her to him without any effort. Whenever he was close enough to be touched, it was impossible to stop her from attacking him. However, they weren't supposed to act they way they were acting now. It was wrong—what they were supposed to do when they met earlier in the hall was to simply smile at each other before heading their own way. Maybe even exchange some banal chit chat that he absolutely hated.

They were not supposed to have lingering glances as they conversed. One that made her forget that she had to go and do her laundry.

Penny was not supposed to be turned on when she saw his tongue dart out to lick his lips.

Sheldon was not supposed to notice how she specifically wore her skimpy outfits when they were alone.

They were not supposed to meet whenever the coast was clear, where they could do anything they desired.

She was _not_ supposed to be up against her door, one leg hooked around his waist as he sucked on her pulse. Her hand should not have been fumbling with his zipper, wishing that the damn thing would just disappear. His hand shouldn't have been making it's way down shorts, slowly pulling it down. It was wrong for her to have kissed him in the middle of the hall, just for smiling at her after she had told him that her day was fine. The accepted course of actions when your neighbor asks how your day went was to first answer, then ask how his went, then finally, return to your apartment. In their case, they would have returned to their respective apartments where he would do whatever the hell he would do, and she would paint her nails, or something. The course of actions she took was to pull Sheldon down by the hem of his shirt and kissing him—hard—before dragging him back to her apartment.

The _real_ accepted course of actions were for them to refrain from doing what they had been doing for—what was it?—days? Weeks? Months? Penny was sure that their little affair hadn't reached a year, but she was pretty sure that it was close. It wasn't really an affair, since they both weren't dating anyone, but the secrecy had made it feel as if it were an affair. All she knew was that Sheldon had been fucking her, and he was fucking her goo—_well_. Or, vice versa.

Sheldon gave her neck one last nip before pulling her shorts all the way down her legs, a hungry, lustful look on his face. It didn't mean anything other than what it was suppose to mean, but there were times when she thought that he meant something else. Sometimes, she sees admiration in his eyes, or maybe even affection, but she'd never been sure. The inner, hidden side of her wished that his gazes meant something more, but that was wishful thinking. The Sheldon she knew was socially retarded, innocent and somewhat asexual. The Sheldon in front of her was dominant, rough and was _far_ from asexual. She didn't prefer one over the other—they _were_ the same person—but there were times that she liked this darker shade of Sheldon more. This one made her feel special—loved, even—with how he went out of his way to meet with her. And how he kissed her, and how he smiled at her like he always knew and understood what she was thinking. It made her wonder if Sheldon had always been like this—if all he needed was a _taste _of sex before realizing that he liked it. If this was the real him that he didn't want to show. Maybe he was never asexual to begin with. Maybe he was just waiting for her. Ha, that would have been a funny joke if she didn't wish that it was true.

"What time are they coming back from that movie?" Penny asked against his mouth. She loved how he kissed her—it was hard, passionate, hot and left her wanting more. This was one of the things she loved about this new Sheldon that only _she_ knew of.

"The movie ends at ten. They will be back in about half an hour." The physicist replied before pulling them off of the door and leading them towards her room. "Did you lock your door? We _cannot_ be caught."

"I locked it alright," she whispered, pushing him off of her and on to her bed. "Do you seriously think I _want_ to get caught?" With a small shake of her head, she pulled her shirt off of her body, tossing it to the side as Sheldon removed his pants and his briefs. She wasn't much of a briefs fan, but as long as they went off of Sheldon, she'd let it go. Seeing the tighty-whities were a bit off a turn off, but she wasn't going to force him to change his underwear. Maybe, some time soon, though. "Based on our last encounter, we were a minute away from angry wailing and accusations mixed in with some tears." Penny chuckled, remembering their previous encounter as she pushed him down on his back.

It was a few days ago, when—unbeknownst to him—she was going to end their affair. She had gotten upset over Sheldon choosing to watch a _rerun_ of Star Trek rather than hanging out with her. It was also the same day that Leonard, who was still hoping to get back together, left her flowers before going to a party Sheldon disapproved of (as if there was one he approved of) with the others. That alone made her wonder if it would be better to give Leonard one last chance. Sure, her and Leonard's relationship was built on straw and glue, but they could make it work, if they really, _really_ tried. As much as she enjoyed the hot and sweaty fun with Sheldon, everything other than that was as if they were back to hating each other. Their relationship—if it was even one—was still on the friendship level, and even she had to admit that she wanted something else. She was a woman, and she wanted something _more_, and she knew that Sheldon was not ready to give that to her. She knew what she wished he'd give her, but, that was impossible. So, with a heavy heart and a dash of confidence (and a pinch of self doubt), she decided that she would end things with Sheldon.

She went over to 4A, where Sheldon was _still_ watching the movie marathon and almost cried at how he smiled when he saw her. Then, as she sat beside him—still riddled with the guilt that she was ending things—he turned to her and told her that he was _sorry_. It was one thing to be hugged by the great Sheldon Cooper, and it was another thing to have sex with him, but to be _apologized_ to! That was an entire different level of surprises from Sheldon! _Although_, the having sex with him bit was an entire thing of it's own—it was more than extremely rare for Sheldon to admit that he was wrong. And so, with all of her previous thoughts forgotten, she kissed him so hard he almost knocked over the lamp beside the couch, and she didn't care. Those were one of the few times when the average, everyday, normal Sheldon made her feel like there was something more between them than friendship, and sex. Sure, it was just a simple sorry, but she knew he meant it. But that was quickly aborted when Sheldon heard Raj's laugh from the stairs and proceeded to push her off him and rushing to hide in his room.

Penny had enough time to fix herself—and she did—then slid over to Sheldon's spot. When the guys entered the apartment, she pretended that she didn't know if Sheldon was home and that she just used her spare key. She also told Leonard that it was sweet of him to leave her flowers and that she appreciated it. Kind of. That was when Sheldon appeared and ordered her to move out of his spot, thus starting an argument with her. It was their greatest cover up, their so called hate for each other. They seemed normal to everyone else—Leonard even begging them to stop fighting—and continued as if nothing happened. Then, once everyone left, and Leonard had gone to sleep, Sheldon crossed over to her apartment. She greeted him in little next to nothing, and they continued what they had started earlier. It had been a close call—the closest they've ever had—but none of the other times had ever stopped them.

"I think Raj noticed something," Sheldon murmured as Penny placed a hand on his erection, "he sent me a few suspicious glance throughout the night. I don't think our fight convinced him."

Penny gently stroked his length, a dangerous smirk on her face. One that always sent shivers down Sheldon's spine. "I bet he was just scared that we'd kill each other. He thinks he owes me with the helping him talk to women thing, and even said that he'd defend me if you got mad at me." Sheldon sucked in a breath as Penny closed her hand around his arousal, her nails softly scratching the base. "I doubt that his words would do anything to c-convince me otherwise," he murmured, struggling to continue as Penny dragged her hand up and down his length. Penny knew that Sheldon always struggled to talk whenever they had had 'coitus'. Which was a perk—cause she'd kill him if he ranted about something stupid in the middle of sex—and it made her feel like she had power over him. It actually shocked her the first time they did it, he was rambling about how what they were doing was inappropriate, then, he had stopped. Completely stopped, and had even forgotten what he was saying.

"Would this make a few strikes disappear?" She gave his length a small lick, enjoying how he writhed under her touch, before positioning herself on top of his thighs. She resisted the urge to chuckle as she saw how Sheldon closed his eyes and leaned down to kiss him—and she knew his answer. That was the power she was talking about—that even the _almighty_ Dr. Sheldon Cooper didn't stand a chance against her. That the great 'homo novus' could go weak from a simple touch from her. She would have never guessed that this would be her greatest trump card over him—other than calling his mother—and if she had knew that before (and that sex with him was _so_ mind blowing), she might have done this from the start. Well, she might not have, considering how much of a pain no-sex Sheldon was—but when the guys invent a time machine, she'll make sure to tell Penny from way back then that it _is_ a good idea.

She felt his hands tightly gripping her hips, sliding as if by magnetism into those places that fit so perfectly. Perhaps in response, she rubbed her pelvis forward against him, grinding his throbbing erection. Sheldon released a little growl into her lips and pushed back. Penny broke from the kiss and, with a smirk, began trailing kisses along his jaw and beneath his ear. Sheldon tilted his head to give her everything she seemed to want from him—Penny from the past would love this. It was only when her lips explored his collarbone and began a breathy slide down his chest that she noticed how he was softly moaning her name. "_Penny_..." She wasn't a stranger to how much of a turn on it was when she heard the guy call her name, but—when it first happened—she didn't expect to get addicted to the sound of Sheldon's husky, breathless voice, calling her name. Well, there was a lot of things she didn't expect to happen during their first time—and it shocked the hell out of her. But, no matter how many times they did this before, she never found herself getting sick of it.

Her teeth rasped across his nipple, his hips giving a spasmodic thrust and she knew she had him. Sheldon's eyes fluttered open, and he watched—eyes wide—as she lapped at the tender place below his hipbone, her hand encircling the base of his throbbing organ. He almost didn't notice her other hand sliding slowly up his thigh as Penny's breath pooled against his groin. A strangled sound emerged from his throat when she dragged her tongue along the side of his shaft and dipped its tip into the ridge below his swollen head.

"Ah, Penny, _please!_" Sheldon said through gritted teeth. She looked up at him then, meeting blue eyes so large and bright and—

"Ow."

"What?" Sheldon blinked in confusion. An annoyed furrow had formed between her brows. "You're pulling my hair." Her eyes darted upwards, indicating the top of her head. "Ouch."

Sheldon's hands had come to rest on the highest part of Penny's—her head—and his fingers were burrowed into her tumbled waves and was gripping her there. "Oh!" He immediately relaxed and withdrew his hands to rest at his sides. "I apologize, Penny—if I hurt you. I was just—uh—excited." Sheldon looked worried—afraid, and all she could do was let out a soft giggle. He looked absolutely adorable, and she was resisting the urge to laugh louder. "It's okay, sweetie, just don't pull too hard, okay?" He nodded, and she leaned in to give him another kiss before making her way back down, and plunging him deep into her mouth. Here in the bedroom—she means during sex—Sheldon wasn't annoying or condescending, and though he was sometimes rough and dominant (don't get her wrong, she loves that) he seemed to care more. During the early days of their _trysts_, Sheldon always asked her if she was okay and if he was doing something wrong. Which, was totally better than him barking at her while teaching her how to play Grand Theft Auto V. Like she said, Sheldon in the bedroom was _so_ much more different than the normal Sheldon.

She loved that side of him.

Wait, well—not that she loved _him_, actually, she _did_ love him but she didn't _love_ him, love him! Okay, maybe she was closed to that—or maybe she really _did_ _love him_-love him—but like she said, Sheldon would not be able to give that to her. He couldn't give it to Amy, so what made her so different? ... Other than the fact that she knew him way before he knew Amy, and that he had sex with her. Multiple times, and was currently in the middle of doing so. Great, now she was back with these trail of thoughts that led her to thinking of ending this that led her to think otherwise. Because she was so screwed—no pun intended—and she knew that she was falling in l-lo-lov... _that_ with Sheldon. Which made her feel bad because it took Wil Wheaton, a breakup, jealousy, frustration, doubt and her english partner for her to say it to Leonard. Yet here she was, freely admitting it—to herself, of course—and in the middle of _sex_, too! If Sheldon proposed to her right now, there was a big chance she would say yes. This affair with Sheldon progressed a lot faster in months than her relationship with Leonard did in years! And that had reciprocated feelings, approval of everyone (except Sheldon, but she might already know why), and the freedom to have sex anytime they wanted, too! Heck, she could do so many things she wanted to do with Sheldon, with Leonard and it wouldn't even require a written-slash-verbal agreement!

Great, now she was turned off by all of those stupid thoughts.

... Or not because—as she expected—the way Sheldon was looking at her made her want to melt. Sheldon had officially switched into the dominant Sheldon that she lo—

"Penny, it has come to my realization that something is troubling you." He said slowly, placing his hands on her shoulders and pushing her off his arousal. "Am I right to say that this is about me?" It's really not a question, and she knew this because of the way his eyes steeled when it met hers. "If there is a problem, please tell me." His tone started out friendly, then it dropped deeper than the Marianas Trench—which, she totally remembered from one of his boring trivias—and she felt a shiver run down her spine. "I simply do not like asinine thoughts ruining activities I enjoy." The dominant, rough and _sexy_ Sheldon—she almost thought that he wouldn't appear, she joked to herself. There was a rustle in the background, and when she looked down, she wondered how Sheldon had managed to prepare a condom.

"You, of all people, should know that I absolutely _loathe_ it when something disrupts activities I enjoy."

Without anything else said, Sheldon flipped her over and pinned her down on her bed and she found herself staring into his dark, blue eyes. Though she thought it wasn't possible, with that simple contact, Penny became more turned on than she had all night. It was as if she could see directly into every secret desire he hid deep in his mind—the ones he might never tell her about. She could see his fantasies, his wishes, and his naughtiest, kinkiest, and the most fantastic sex dreams he had ever concocted. She briefly wondered if it was possible that Sheldon gets naughty dreams, but with him staring at her like that, it was possible. Maybe she was in a few of them—or all of them, she hoped. She did that a lot, nowadays, hoping. She hoped that she would get the role she auditioned for, and that there was a chance that Sheldon would feel the same about her. Right now, it didn't matter much, because all she could focus on was Sheldon and his blue eyes.

Then, in one single move, he positioned himself—still watching every flicker of her eyes—then slammed himself inside her. Penny let out a sharp shriek and clamped her hands around his back; an arm circled around his neck, while the other dug its nails into his back. He'd probably bitch about the scratches she would leave (like always), and how it would sting, but she really didn't care. She had to get a hold of something—anything—or else she'd lose it. She arched upwards, pressing her stomach against his, while her body curled around his and her head buried in his neck. Her lips began busily working on his skin and her tongue caught droplets of sweat as they rolled down his neck. She could hear him grunt and moan her name and it only caused her to do the same.

Sheldon pulled out and slammed back in again with a wild force. Penny clung to him as hard as she possibly could and tried to meet each of his thrusts with a roll of her hips. He was animalistic though; his body seemed specifically designed to pummel into her body with a power unlike any she had ever experienced before. Oh boy, if the Penny from the past would laugh at this exact scenario, the Sheldon from that timeline would probably join her, laughing. If only she could brag the guys—to everyone—who seriously thought Sheldon was asexual, how great, no, _amazing_ Sheldon was and would ever be over them. Asexual, her pretty little ass. After their first time, it didn't take a second for Sheldon to get aroused by just the sight of her in her normal clothing—a tank top, and short, shorts. However, she wore those on purpose, and it worked. Now, she wore those to bait Sheldon, and though it took a while and an argument first, she always got what she wanted and was left satisfied.

It was a mystery how Leonard (and the neighbors) never heard her—though, Leonard might have already heard her, and had chosen to stay quiet. He knew that she was seeing other guys, but he didn't have to know who it was—especially, when he was still trying to get back with her. Unfortunately for him, Sheldon really wasn't giving her a reason for her to give their relationship another chance. Ha.

Her trail of thought was interrupted when Sheldon started to slow down his pace, and Penny leaned her head back to look at him. His face—and entire body—was covered in sweat, his hair was a mess, and his eyes were focused on hers. Crap, did he somehow manage to read her mind? She gave him a questioning look, and wondered, _again_, if it was possible to look inside the glorious mind of the brilliant Dr. Cooper. "Are you okay?" She asked as she stifled down a moan to keep her gaze on him, as he continued thrusting in and out of her. He blinked, pursing his lips as he stared back down at her—and Penny thought that he looked absolutely irresistible. "I just noticed that your eyes are a pleasing shade of green, that's all." There it was, the gentle Sheldon that she rarely saw. Sheldon was unpredictable like that—he would get all rough and demanding, then he'd be soft and caring then he'd revert into a whackadoodle. This was why she was always wondering about everything—if he really did feel something for her, more than friendship, of course. Because random moments like this were the reason why it was hard for her to end this, and to stop herself from falling for him.

"Now, Penny," his tone dropped again, possibly lower and huskier than before. "I want you, to come for me."

Then, Sheldon's movements quickened, slamming in and out of her—and forced her to scream in pleasure. To hell with the neighbors, to all of them, actually. His pace was quicker, and he suddenly became rougher—yet not rough enough to hurt her, and Penny could feel her orgasm building up inside her. She could tell that Sheldon was close, too, and that made her cling on to him again. She pushed him forward, causing him to sit up, and proceeded to grind down on him as he thrusted into her. Her eyes flew open and her mouth gaped in a soundless scream when she felt her body begin to shake. Penny clamped her teeth on Sheldon's shoulder, clawing her nails down his back even harder as she came. Her body shuddered against him, pressing herself onto him as she shook. He wasn't stopping yet, she realized as another wave overtook her and her legs began to shake. Sheldon was still moving, becoming faster, and rougher as he neared his orgasm.

A groan reached her ears as he orgasmed, his hands tightening on her hips as his body convulsed. They stayed that way, Sheldon sitting up on the bed and Penny clinging to him as they tried to regain their breaths. Once their breathing had returned to normal, Sheldon pulled himself out of her and allowed Penny to lie down while he disposed of the condom. He stared at the trash can, giving it a menacing glare, before taking a seat at the edge of Penny's bed and turning to her. "Will you change the sheets after this?" _Aaand_, the old Sheldon was back, the one who was a neat freak and hated germs and touching. Right after their exploits, Sheldon always instructed her to change the sheets, and to take a shower for good hygiene. She listened, of course, but there would always be a part of her that was annoyed with this Sheldon. She didn't hate it, since it _was_ Sheldon, but hygiene lessons after sex weren't fun—especially when Penny still wanted another go. She was always like this after sex with Sheldon, she just couldn't have enough of him. He could last hours when he wanted to, that was usually when his darker side came out, and Penny loved that, too. One time, when the guys went to a convention that Sheldon had no interest in, they had gone at it for hours, and the only reason they stopped was due to Mary Cooper calling him. The thought alone of Sheldon's mother made them both realized how tired they were, and decided to just play Rock Band.

"Was there a time when I didn't do as you said?" Penny teased, causing Sheldon to scowl at her. She glanced at his back which was peppered with scars and fresh, angry red lines that her nails had left. In some odd way, she found the sight appealing. Penny wasn't a sadist or anything, it was just that the sight of the lines made her feel like Sheldon was hers, and hers alone. As if she was the only one who would ever see him like this, and that gave her a sense of relief. She was getting _slightly_ clingy, and possessive—and she knew that, but she just couldn't help it. These kind of things never ended good—she of all people should know that—and with Sheldon being Sheldon, she couldn't see herself getting what she wanted. Whoever said feelings wouldn't get involved deserved to get shot in the head by a rocket launcher. Or a tank. If that was every single person's belief, then damn, the world would go into chaos. Cause fuck, feelings were _always _involved and she had never seen one where it wasn't. Just look at her! She was pining for the same idiot who banned her from the apartment just because she took his onion ring—and now with the friends with benefits arrangement involved, the feelings she so desperately tries to hide got even more amplified! Emotions were always involved, and that was the plain damn truth that people in sex with no strings relationships always failed to learn.

She would be lying if she said that she didn't want an honest to goodness relationship with Sheldon. She would also be lying is she said that she didn't see this—everything—coming. The emotional turmoil, the heartache, the heart_break_—she knew that it would happen from the first time she kissed Sheldon. Arrangements like this always led to a whirlwind of emotions, both happy and sad. This might be karma for stealing guys from girls back home, and for leading so many men on—like Leonard, and for so many other things she did wrong. But did she regret it?

Fuck no.

"As much as I'd absolutely love to point every single one out," Sheldon twisted his body towards her, a small hesitant look on his face. "We have little time left before the others return, and I still need to take a shower."

"Can I join you?" Penny gave him a sultry look, running a hand down her legs. Sheldon had a torn expression before raising an eyebrow and swallowing. "You can, but you _may_ not." Penny pouted at him, turning to get on her hands as an idea came to mind, raising her voice a bit. "Aww, but I had so many fun things in mind," she started to slowly crawl up to him, her pout turning into a smirk as she kneeled beside him. "I've always loved water," she placed a hand on his shoulder, and slid one down his chest, trailing it down to his growing erection. "And think, not only do we get to have some _fun_, but you also get the chance to teach me what proper hygiene is." She watched Sheldon close his eyes as she wrapped her hand around his entire cock, stroking it with increasing speed. She added a second hand to the pressure she was applying to his erection and laughed gently as she passed her thumb over the tip of him. He jerked against her and she grinned wickedly.

"T-the guys are—"

"Are what, Sheldon?" she whispered, teasing his earlobe with her tongue. "Coming back? They might be, but they might not. What is the math telling you?" Suddenly, a loud buzzing sound erupted from her nightstand and with _much_ hesitation, she tore herself from the physicist and reached down to check her phone. "Who is that?" Sheldon growled—probably annoyed at the idea of someone distracting her from him. He made it clear, he didn't like it when something ruined activities he enjoyed. Coitus with her was officially one of them. Take that, Sheldon from years ago. "It's Leonard."

"What did he say?" She could sense that Sheldon was trying to not sound _jealous_ and demanding. His tone changed with each word. She opened the message, and found herself inwardly cheering at what she read. "He says that he'll be coming home a bit later cause they're going to eat out." Original message: Hey Penny, it's Leonard, but you already knew that. I have something I wanted to give to you, but it seems that we're gonna be home a bit later than expected. Raj was craving for dumplings and practically guilt tripped us to going with him. Is it okay if you check on Sheldon? He probably got the message by now, but I just want to make sure. I'll just drop by later. End long message. She wasn't going to tell Sheldon the real message, nope. Besides, the message didn't mean anything—it's not like she was going to get back together with Leonard anytime soon. Which was why she really felt bad about leading him on, but what was a girl to do? Leonard was more than willing to give her what she (desperately) wanted from Sheldon... but even so, she's not going to lose the one chance she had. Maybe sometime soon, Sheldon would feel the same way about her.

That sounded a bit crazy, stalker-ish.

"Do you think that they'll take their time?"

"Yeah, probably." Then she felt something warm behind her, and turned to find Sheldon staring at her with lust filled eyes. "We have time." It was all Sheldon said before he pushed her onto the bed, climbing over her and kissing her quickly on the lips. She grinned and raised her eyebrow softly. "I think we have a lot of time." Sheldon smiled softly, before driving himself far and deep inside of her.

So, no, she really had no intentions of ending things with Sheldon anytime soon. Even though there was a tight chance of him falling helplessly in love with her like she had for him; and this might not end well, but even the smallest glint of hope could keep her going. If there was one thing she was sure of, it was her feelings for Sheldon. She may sound desperate, but it was the cold hard truth that hit her like a ton of bricks, and this time, she wasn't going to give up.

What could she say; a woman in love would go through a lot just to get the man she loved to love her back.


	2. panacea

**Sheldon's chapter!**

**Also, I am torn between this story and another M fic that popped into my mind that is still untitled, as I saw an old story that is similar to this and am uneasy knowing that. Right now, my motivation/inspiration motor is still running for this story, so I will still be continuing it. However, if this new fic (I am seriously not happy with my brain abandoning ship without even a single how do you do) occupies my attention, I will have to discontinue this fic. But if I do decide to do so, I will inform all of you. And if you're wondering, this new fic is something akin to TBUM with a corporate world feel, and will also be smut with a plot. And although it is untitled, I have somewhat considered lending the title of this story to it, if I do discontinue this one. But meh, who knows, my brain is literally confusing, and spouting stories RIGHT WHEN I'M WORKING ON A CHAPTER. So, apologies, apologies.**

**The chapters will interchange between Sheldon and Penny's perspectives, and most chapters will be a mix of both.**

**With that done, let's visit Sheldon's thoughts and watch him break Penny's heart.**

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_panacea_ (noun) - a solution for all difficulties or diseases;

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Sheldon was in the middle of watching television when Leonard entered the apartment, a wistful look on his face.

"Hello," he greeted, barely glancing at his roommate who plopped down on the beige armchair.

When there was no response, he turned to see Leonard smothering his face against the fabric of the chair. "Is it right for me to assume that there is something troubling you?"

Leonard lifted his face, sighing deeply before adjusting his position on the chair. "Yeah, something like that." Sheldon happily nodded, a correct assumption on the status of Leonard's mood, _excellent_. He normally didn't get it right and it was nice to know that he was improving his skills on trying to understand Leonard. He had to admit, understanding Leonard was very tedious and required a lot of patience. So, just this once, he would listen to Leonard's never ending woes. The roommate agreement _did_ dictate that he ask about his roommate's day, and he would take it upon himself to tally the countless problems Leonard troubled himself with. The other day, it was about him not being able to process dairy. Leonard and Raj had gone to an ice cream parlor, and with Raj's newfound ability to talk to women, they set out to find new women to please. Then, due to Raj's desperate attempt to flirt, Leonard had accidentally eaten the "extra-creamy" ice cream and had found solace in the public bathroom. Lactose Intolerance, his height, his eyesight, his mother not loving him—the list went on and Sheldon was ready to know what new problem would join the list.

"Did you find the movie to be unpleasant?"

"No, it wasn't the movie," Leonard grunted as he shifted his position. "It's Penny."

"Penny?" Sheldon repeated, an eyebrow raised. The same Penny he was with not less than an hour ago? What did he want from Penny? Leonard and Penny broke up nearly a year ago—shockingly, it was Leonard who broke up with her after almost cheating on her—and despite that they had remained as friends. An in that timespan Leonard had dated several women; a new professor, a girl he met at a bar, a geologist from the university, a grad student and even Alex, his assistant, whom he did not fail to express his disappointment of. Though his relationship with Alex was short lived (a week), Leonard had lasted about seven weeks with the girl from the bar. He actually found the girl from the bar to be tolerable—she was strict on hygiene and respected Sheldon—but, he was glad that it was over and done with. Although she was ranked as Leonard's second best girlfriend (Stephanie was still the best), her horrible habit of weaseling her presence into everything did not go unnoticed. She was an oral hygienist, why would she need to tag along at the science symposium they were going to? Nevertheless, their break up was messy and was full of tears, and Sheldon offered her a small gift basket for her troubles—and because he was so happy they broke up. After the break up, Leonard declared that he would never get back with someone that his relationship with was proven to be a failure.

So, why would he still be interested in reconciling with Penny? If there was _anyone_ whose relationship with him was the exact definition of failure, it was Penny. All of their breakups were tragic, and he had no intention of going through it again. Because whenever the two broke up, all hell would break loose. Whenever Leonard wasn't seeing any of the women previously mentioned, all he did was cry over spilt milk—which was Penny—and roll around in despair and melancholy. But, surely after so many break ups, Leonard would have learned his lesson! They say the third time's the charm, but maybe it wasnt. Maybe, there wasn't a charm at all because even with just the mention of Penny's name, he was sure that Leonard was planning on winning her back. Then, it dawned to him—of course, Leonard would want to get back together with her. He was just being Leonard. He wouldn't be Leonard if he wasn't fixated on a hopeless task.

"Yeah, Penny." Leonard grumbled, causing Sheldon to frown. "Our neighbor? Blonde, beautiful and the closest thing to perfect?" The experimental physicist paused, his eyebrows furrowing. "She might actually be the definition of perfect."

Sheldon heard another sigh, and opted to lower the television's volume. "Did she state that she wanted to get back together with you?" Once, after a heated session of coitus, Sheldon asked Penny if she ever planned on getting back together with his roommate. It wasn't that he was worried that their "activities" would end—he wasn't ending it that easily—it was out of pure curiosity. The pair had broken up more times than Raj had a date that ended well, and he sometimes wondered how it affected Penny. He knew what the break ups did to Leonard; he would sulk, get depressed, try to move on via other women, pine over Penny, listen to depressing music, try to show Penny that he's a good catch, then return to trying to get back together with Penny. He was now in the last phase of that, and he briefly wondered if there was a point in Leonard doing all of them. Apparently, that routine had worked, since Leonard _did_ get back together with Penny a few years ago. And, in the instance that Leonard does somewhat move on from the blonde and gets a new girlfriend—e.i. Priya—he would still pine over Penny and find ways to fix their relationship.

Penny, on the other hand, would drink, party (which he both did not approve of) and navigate her way through various men that desired her. That was all he knew about it. Amy once mentioned that Penny would pine, as well, but not as much as Leonard would. So, out of curiosity he asked her the question. Penny, who was still trying to regain her breath, had stared at him with a look of anger. Then she stood and proceeded to dress herself, saying, "you seriously choose to ask that now?" He didn't understand what it meant, and quietly returned to his apartment as Penny went to the bathroom. They didn't speak much after that, and only made amends a week later, when Penny barged into his room to apologize. Penny then explained to him that she had no intentions to get back together with Leonard any time soon and that he shouldn't ask things like that after coitus. With that in mind, it made him wonder if he should tell Leonard that Penny wasn't going to get back together with him. Of course, if he did, that would mean that he would have to tell him why he knew, why he asked Penny, and that he was sleeping with her. He might lie about the last part, but they all knew that he couldn't lie to save his life. Penny told him that he only needed to tell someone if they _specifically_ asked if he was with Penny.

So far, so good.

"No," there was a hint of frustration in Leonard's tone and Sheldon simply shook his head. Leonard loved to whine about everything whenever he was in the state of trying to get back together with Penny. "But I _do_. I've been trying to move on from her, but I just can't. You know that I've been trying as hard as I can." The frustrated tone dropped, and Leonard's features softened. "Each time I try to get far with a girl, all I can think about is Penny. If she's lonely, if she's sad that we broke up, if she thinks of me as much as I do of her, if she still feels the same way about me—if I still have a chance." The theoretical physicist mentally snorted, it didn't seem that way to him. The only time they brought Leonard up, was when they talked about what time the others were getting back. Penny didn't seem to be sad, or lonely or upset over their breakup. From the start of their arrangement up to now, he had never seen Penny in any of what Leonard mentioned. Penny actually seemed happier than she was during the last few months of her and Leonard's relationship. He couldn't say that he was the reason why—though it was highly probable—but he knew that it wasn't because of Leonard. That gave him an odd sense of satisfaction.

"Then I realized that the only girl I can be with is Penny." That made Sheldon snap out of his thoughts and realized that Leonard was still rambling. Great, whining and rambling. Penny deserved a lecture and two strikes for causing this. "She's my soulmate, the love of my life—and I can't help but think that we're meant to be together." Sheldon rolled his eyes, he certainly did not believe in destiny or fate. They were foolish, and only Raj vouched for it, but all of his claims of fate and destiny had always proved to be wrong. "It took a lot to decide that, but I'm sure of it. I honestly can't see myself with anyone other than her, and I've decided that I'm going to win her back. I'll do whatever it takes for to get her back."

"What if she rejects you?" Sheldon bluntly asked, earning a glare from his best friend.

"Maybe I'll try again, I don't know. I can't think of me without her, and I think I won't be able to take it if she rejects me, one more time. I'll make sure that she says yes, then I won't let anything tear us apart again."

Sheldon surprisingly felt sorry for his friend—he was pathetic—and pondered the situation his friend was in. Leonard had gotten a bit melodramatic since the break up—which might have stemmed from hanging out with Raj a little too much—but his words had reminded him of the time Penny was rumored to break up with him. He had exerted a lot of effort to save Leonard from the impending heartbreak he would get, and once again, he had saved the day by talking to Penny. Though he rarely cared about how Leonard felt, there were times when he did. Leonard was his best friend, even with his faults, he was dependable, and a very important person in his life. He didn't want to see his friend hurt, or worse, depressed when Penny rejects him. He might return to singing atrocious songs and wearing black and getting all mopey if Penny turns him down again. The problem was that, Penny _was_ going to turn him down. Again. He had heard it straight from her mouth, and he believed it.

The bigger problem, was what would happen if Penny turned Leonard down and then discovered about his and Penny's relationship? There would be angry accusations, screaming, crying, punching people (him), and various other dramatic things that Leonard would, no doubt, do. They might even go onto one of those talk shows where they discuss their—Leonard's—hatred for them that will eventually end with yelling, name calling, and a pseudo real mending of the relationships destroyed. But, even if they made up on national television, Leonard would still loathe them with ever fiber of his body and would make his life a living hell.

Sheldon glanced at his friend again, who was (pathetically) staring at a picture of Penny on his phone. Leonard looked so sickeningly heartbroken and hurt that he couldn't not feel bad. He found it somewhat wrong for Leonard to longingly stare at a picture, but Howard had done much worse things. He was not a stranger to Leonard and his devotion-slash-obsession to their neighbor. From the very first time they had met her, Leonard did not bother to hide his attraction for her. He never seemed to fail in shamelessly going after her like a lost puppy and Sheldon never understood why. When Penny was going out with someone else, Leonard acted as if it was a crime for her to do so. Even when Leonard, himself, had a relationship, he acted like Penny was not allowed to date anyone. Raj reasoned it out that that was what people who were hopelessly in love would do. Howard commented that _that_ was what stalkers did, and Leonard got mad. There was his best friend, longing over Penny, desperately clinging on the ill hope that they'd enter into a relationship once more. Then there he was, the so called, "lover" of the woman that Leonard wanted. He had a small feeling of guilt for hiding this from him, especially when he knew that if Leonard discovers about them, he'd be crushed. Raj once mentioned that Leonard might kill himself if Penny ended up with Kurt, and that was not good.

There had never been a time that he approved of Leonard and Penny's relationship. He had always opposed the idea, and of Leonard saying hi to her many years ago. Penny was a nuisance, a free loader, a community college dropout that considered painting her nails as a hobby. There were several instances in his life that he wanted to finally invent a time machine and prevent them from ever meeting Penny. It would save them all of the irritation of Leonard getting depressed over everything Penny didn't do with him. Of Leonard spending the first two months of their previous breakup barely bathing and insisting that he be left alone in the darkness to "die." Of Leonard upsetting him by crying whenever he saw Penny go out on a date, and buying his own version of the notebook from the anime _Death Note_ and listing the names of every guy Penny went out with to die. None of them died, and are still alive, though.

Of he, himself realizing that he was not immune to the temptation that was the enthralling blonde...

But, Sheldon had to admit that Leonard _was_ happy with their neighbor—when they were together—and that somehow irked him. He could still remember—he remembered everything—how much livelier his roommate was when he was in a relationship with the blonde. How Leonard was so happy that he didn't even complain when Sheldon demanded that he return his takeout and get him a new one. Thrice, and not a single complaint. Leonard was so much more bearable then. Now, Leonard sulked, was constantly in a bad mood, and complained about all of his woes. If he was still with Penny, he would have been with her, instead of that new professor from the university that laughed so annoyingly that Sheldon wanted to rip his ears off. Instead of having to deal with that cursed backstabbing geologist at paintball, they would have Penny alongside them in the battlefield of paint. Instead of hearing Alex and Leonard doing _revolting_ things within earshot, it would be—

Sheldon suddenly felt unexplainably angry, and saw that his knuckles had turned pale from gripping the remote. He relaxed himself, and glanced at his roommate who was now staring longingly at a picture of him and Penny together. He thought it was utterly pathetic, and that Leonard deserved a good bible smacking from his mother. Why couldn't Leonard understand that Penny didn't want to get back together with him? It had been close to a year, and Penny never did show signs of wanting to reconcile. If she wanted to, she would have done it by now. Instead, she was with _him_, and he didn't find that thought unsatisfactory. If Penny felt like giving Leonard another chance, he would be the first to know, right? ... If Penny did that, that would mean that their activities would end. He didn't like that the thought of that. Not. At. All.

However, if Leonard got what he wanted, he would stop being a lifeless, sorry excuse of a human being that spent his time sulking and complaining about why he was so miserable. Frankly, Sheldon was getting sick of waking up to singing that could shatter glass from both the singer riddled with despair, and the unthought of lyrics. He was also getting irritated with Leonard acting as if his funding had been cut—and he had had enough of all the whining and depressing atmosphere. They lived in an apartment building, not at a morgue. And so, regardless of his disinterest in Leonard's affairs, he—Dr. Sheldon Cooper—would find a way to help his best friend. Like buying him a nice new pair of shoes, or a new jacket. Penny was out of the question.

"Are you that keen on getting back together with her?" His roommate looked up from the picture—one of Penny flashing a wide grin at the camera—blinking at what he had said.

"What?"

"I said, are you that keen on getting back together with her?" Sheldon repeated in annoyance. He sometimes wondered if Leonard had a problem with hearing, as well. Another to add to the list.

The experimental physicist eagerly nodded, putting his phone away. "Yeah, I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, but I will. I mean, there's a big chance that she loves me, right? I think we're meant to be together, I really do." Leonard grinned to himself and Sheldon decided that there was no point of arguing. Leonard had cemented the thought of him getting back together with Penny in his mind, and not even a jackhammer could crack it. Like what a good friend was supposed to do, and same as he did before, he was going to tell him that maybe it was time that he looked for someone else. Maybe even get back together with Leslie Winkle—she seemed to enjoy his affections. An even better idea would be if he reconciled with Dr. Stephanie Barnett! But, as Leonard would probably not listen (and he should) it would be better to disregard it. He would save the helpful advice for another day. Listening to Leonard's torments was a waste of time, and he had other important things to do. Like reading his new comic books, arguing online with noobs, writing to his Meemaw, and—though it seemed a bit asinine to admit—spending time with Penny.

"Right, well," Sheldon stood, tearing Leonard away from his thoughts. "I wish you good luck on that. I'm going to bed."

"Wait, I thought that you were going to listen to my problem?" Leonard cried as he walked towards his room. "I never said that I would, goodnight." He took one glance at Leonard before retiring to his room.

Leonard could pursue Penny on his own time.

* * *

"Shelly, I raised you better than this! How could you dishonor me?"

Sheldon furrowed his eyebrows at his mother, who did not look happy. "Mother, what are you talking about?" He was back at home, in their kitchen, waiting for his mother to finish baking cookies.

Mary Cooper huffed as she placed the hot tray on the counter, angrily pulling her mittens off of her hands. "You're living in sin! Not even a lifetime can make Jesus forgive your tainted soul!" His mother hissed before dropping cookies on his plate and serving it to him. "Mother, what are you talking about?" He asked as he took a bite of his mother's homemade chocolate chip cookies. He was still debating on whether his mother or Meemaw's were the best, but there really wasn't a point to it, since it was the same recipe. "I know about you and Penny living in sin! You think that I wouldn't know? We all know about it!"

Then, his Meemaw appeared, a small frown on her face.

"Meemaw!" Sheldon greeted joyfully. There was nothing better than having milk, cookies and spending time with his Meemaw. Well, that and winning the nobel prize... But he'd do with both. "I didn't know that you'd be here!" His grandmother's frown deepened, and he knew that there was something wrong. Meemaw didn't frown much, she was a jolly, kind and loving grandmother, and to see her frown like that made him upset.

"Moonpie, why are you hurting your friend, Leonard?" Sheldon's smile dropped, what were they talking about? "You're not supposed to betray your friend. The Penny girl is for Leonard, you know that. We raised you better than to steal the love of your friend's life." Betraying Leonard? How was he betraying Leonard? He wasn't betraying anyone! Leonard was dating the girl from the bar when he and Penny had started this! Leonard didn't even seem to care about Penny during those days, and it was only he who had continued to interact with the blonde. He had repeatedly tried to tell him about what happened between them, but Leonard always ignored his pleas of hearing him out, and eventually, he grew tired of trying and simply kept his affair with Penny as a secret. So, how was he betraying him?

His grandmother sniffled and his mother handed her a handkerchief before turning to him. "Instead of ruining them, you should have helped them fix their relationship!"

But he never even approved of their relationship! Sheldon screamed, but he had somehow lost his voice. He tried to say it again, a little louder, but he heard nothing. "You never approved of them but you approve of being with her?" His mother scoffed, and he realized that they could hear him, but he couldn't. "If you liked her, you should have said so from the start. She is Leonard's now, and you're not allowed to like her that way." When had his mother become so angry? He didn't like Penny any more than a friend! "Then why are ya' sleeping with her? We didn't raise ya' to be a liar, Shelly."

"Then why are you constantly meeting me?" The voice was Penny's, and she appeared out of nowhere. She looked upset, and he resisted the urge to ask her why she was sad. Suddenly, the voices started piling up.

"Dude, that's low, even for you. He's your best friend!" Raj.

"You know how much he likes her, and how insufferable he is when depressed, why do you have to ruin that?!" Howard.

"What you're doing is wrong, and you know that, Sheldon." Bernadette.

"Penny deserves love, and she isn't going to get that from you." He cringed, it was Amy. The angry voice continued. "You couldn't even love me. Leonard loves Penny, and you _never _will. All you want from her is coitus, and that's it. End Leonard and Penny's misery. This _thing_ with Penny will only make all of you miserable, and you know that Sheldon."

"I'm your best friend!" Leonard. "How could you do this to me? You _know_ how much I love her! You _know_ that we're meant to be! You know how much it hurts me to not be with her! Why would you do this! Tell me, Sheldon! I deserve to know why you would betray me like this!"

"All I need is to know that this is over." Penny. "Just tell me and we'll end it. Leonard needs me, he loves me. You can't love me, but he can, and he does. All you want is sex, that's it. I'm not a prostitute, Sheldon, and I need something you won't give me." Sheldon opened his mouth to speak—what did she want that he couldn't give? He had been kinder to her than he preferred to be, wasn't that enough? And it wasn't just coitus! He valued her friendship with him more than anyone else's! He also certainly _did not_ see her as a prostitute. The blonde softly sighed, and he remembered that though he could not hear his voice, they could. "If that's true, then you should have treated me that way. I'm not a toy, Sheldon. What you're doing is just hurting Leonard, and you're hurting me." Why would she be hurting when it was _her_ who had instigated this entire liaison! If anyone should be offended or hurt it should be him, as he was the victim of her prowess in seduction!

"I'm very disappointed in you, Moonpie," it was his Meemaw, and all he could do was scream in confusion. He didn't understand what was happening, and one by one, the various people in the room started to corner him. He couldn't move, he couldn't think—he was trapped and the voices got louder, yelling at him, screaming at him, accusing things he didn't do—

—Then, he bolted from his bed, beads of sweat rolling down from his forehead.

"It was a nightmare," Sheldon whispered to himself. "Just a nightmare." He glanced at his clock, _2:12 AM_. He barely had five hours of sleep—his REM cycle would be ruined. The nightmare felt so real—as if it was actually happening—and that frightened him more than the dream that Goofy strangled him then ate him. What did it mean? Was it his subconscious which he rarely listened to, like Leonard? Was this because he chose not to do anything about Leonard's Penny dilemma? But he bought him an amazing, authentic Batman jacket online! And it wasn't cheap! Wasn't that enough to compensate for him not caring about how Penny was his soulmate and all those other nonsense? Was it because he refused to help Leonard reconcile with Penny? But Penny herself did not want to, and who was he to object?

Sheldon suddenly heard a soft, muffled sound emanating from outside. He grabbed his Luke Skywalker lightsaber—all of them had their own—that was hidden behind his bed for protection. There was nothing more terrifying than an actual lightsaber that _wasn't_ a cheap toy from Toys R' Us. With his weapon in his hands, he quietly padded out of his room, and looked around. The living room was still dark, and their front door was still closed. From what he learned from their robbery episode, the door would be left open if someone had snuck in. So, burglars were crossed out. Then, he heard the sound again—it was coming from Leonard's room.

What if the burglar had broken in via window and was currently strangling Leonard causing him to cry out in despair? If that was true, he should quickly go to Penny's and ask for help! But... It was two in the morning, and no matter how much he pleased her during coitus, there would never be an acceptable reason to wake Penny up. He wasn't going to risk getting punched in the throat by Penny, even if it meant Leonard's life. Howard said that Penny's punch was so powerful that even his children's children would feel it. That did not sound good at all, and so he slowly crept to Leonard's room, the lightsaber placed over his shoulder.

There was a sniff, followed by another, then another, then loud uncomfortable sobbing.

Sheldon pushed the door open—opting not to knock—and found his stomach lurching at the sight of Leonard, curled up in his bed, hugging a t-shirt as he cried. It was despicable, pathetic and was absolutely causing him to lose all respect for Leonard. Especially, since the t-shirt was given to Leonard by Penny when she had gotten her paycheck and raise. She also got him one, and it matched Leonard's. His was a Clone Trooper, and Leonard's was a Storm Trooper. He rejected the gift at first, but Penny insisted that reciprocity was unneeded since she had been mooching off them from the first time they met. That t-shirt was the last thing Penny had given Leonard before they broke up, and he was oddly irritated at the thought that he knew. Because he knew the significance of the shirt, it made him feel bad for his friend who barely noticed him, and was still uncontrollably sobbing.

"Leonard, are you crying?" He said as he lowered the lightsaber, earning Leonard's attention.

"No, I'm not," Leonard sniffed, quickly rubbing his arm against the fabric of the shirt. "It's just allergies."

Sheldon frowned, placing the lightsaber against the wall before crossing his arms. "Leonard, we both know that I know that you're lying because I made sure that this apartment is completely hypoallergenic for you." The experimental physicist sighed, grabbing the tissue box from his nightstand and disgustingly blew his nose in one of the tissues. Mopey Leonard was definitely the state he hated the most. "I, I was just sleeping, then I had a dream about Penny turning me down, and I couldn't control myself." Wonderful, as he had dreams of everyone berating him because of his interactions with Penny, Leonard had dreamt of the inevitable. Who would have known that the blonde would give both of them such problematic incubuses. He was in a state of disarray, confusion and self doubt, while Leonard was in an emotional mess—all because of dreams concerning Penny.

"Please explain the shirt."

Leonard sullenly nodded, sitting up on his bed and adjusting his glasses. "I just, got really emotional. The dream felt so real and even me in the dream couldn't take it. So I got this shirt from it's special place in my dresser and suddenly all of the great times with Penny flashed in my mind and I couldn't help it anymore." He stared longingly at the shirt and Sheldon snickered. "But it was just a dream, and dreams aren't real, Leonard."

"I know, I'm sorry for waking you up." His friend sighed, standing to return the shirt in a box in his dresser. "You can give me two strikes for it, I'm really sorry."

Leonard freely accepting strikes? How affected was he from the simple phantasm of rejection? Sheldon couldn't explain it, but he felt a heavy weight on his chest that was dragging him down. It became heavier each time he looked at Leonard and he had the urge to reach out and hug his friend. He wouldn't do that, though, and now the weight was so heavy that he might drop to the floor. It was also piercing through his chest whenever he thought of Leonard's sadness over Penny. Was this _guilt?_ Sheldon Cooper did not feel guilt! Why would he be guilty? He was doing absolutely nothing wro—

"I have a feeling that she's seeing someone else," Leonard spoke up, returning to his bed. "And I can feel that she isn't happy. Kind of. When I went over to give her something, she seemed out of it, like she was troubled or something. I've known Penny for almost nine years, and I know when she's upset over something. She was acting the same way she did when she figured out that David had a wife and was just using her."

"When did you go over to Penny's?" When Leonard gave him a surprised expression, he realized that he sounded angry. "I mean, you made me wait so long just because you wanted to see Penny? It's random television with roommate day, Leonard. It won't be unless you're not here."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry for getting home late but it was Raj who wanted to get a midnight snack." He believed it! "I stopped by Penny's before coming home." That was less than an hour after he left Penny's apartment! "I gave her a stuffed toy that I won at the arcade while Raj and Howard were buying popcorn. When I went over, she seemed happy to see me, but I could tell that she had something on her mind. Like she got into a fight or something." A fight? The chances of Penny having a fight with someone who wasn't him during the gap before Leonard arrived was slim, since she even checked on him half an hour after he left. Did he do anything to upset her while they were together? ... Was it because he refused to cuddle? Impossible! She knew that Leonard was coming back, and that he hated cuddling! But... could that have been the reason why Leonard believed Penny to be upset?

She couldn't have been upset since she was apparently happy to see Leonard, and even had a new doll to join the collection of her silly other ones. So much for her not planning on getting back together with Leonard.

"Did she appreciate your token of devotion?"

Leonard nodded, grinning happily, and Sheldon wanted to grab the lightsaber and incise his head with it. Sadly, although he felt a strong urge to hurt his friend, he couldn't deny that the weight on his chest lightened. The sight of his best friend happy didn't anger him as much as it was supposed to. Leonard's previous lugubrious, tear stricken demeanor was quickly replaced by a positive one that was not there earlier. His theory that Leonard would only be genuinely happy if he was with Penny had now—and it strongly pained him to admit it—been _proven_. It was the cold hard truth that he had been denying since Leonard spoke of Penny five hours, thirty two minutes and eighteen seconds ago. Penny was Leonard's happiness, and he couldn't get Penny because she was secretly in a "friends with benefits" arrangement with him, and that was discreetly a reason why Leonard was unhappy. Was this the betrayal that the people in his dreams were talking about?

"I think she's rethinking our relationship," Leonard's smile dropped, turning into a disappointed look that pierced an arrow through his chest. "I just wish that I could be the guy who could make her happy. I know I can, and I can't stand to think about guys who are just using her for sex, and aren't even willing on giving her an actual relationship with _feelings_." His face twitched and he could somehow feel a handful—seven—arrows piercing his back, and the weight on his chest getting heavier and heavier. "I'd love her—more than any guy would ever love her. I loved her before she even gave me a chance, and I won't hurt her—ever again."

_"Leonard needs me, he loves me. You can't love me, but he does. All you want is sex, that's it. I'm not a prostitute, Sheldon, and I need something you won't give me."_

"I see," Sheldon murmured, desperately wanting to return to his room. Everything Leonard had said had made it harder and harder for him to breathe. "Well, like I said, I wish you luck on that." He understood why he felt so bad whenever he saw Leonard upset over Penny, and what his dream was telling him. "I'm sure that Penny will see through this with a positive outlook, and will produce results much to your favor." He had an answer to all of their problems—and though it would require losing something, but it would take the arrows and the weight off of him. Occam's Razor, he mentally chanted. The answer was Occam's razor. "Do stop crying, as it heavily bothers me."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that."

"Yes, well," Sheldon picked up his lightsaber, "don't do it again. I bid you goodnight, Leonard."

"Thanks for listening to my Penny problems. I know you're getting sick of it, but I know you understand how much she means to me." The weight was back and Sheldon had to leave. _Now_. "You're really my best friend, buddy." Sickeningly kind, and painfully heavy—that was what Leonard was doing. Did he really have to point out that he was a good friend?! "Right, well goodnight." Without a second glance, he left the room and returned to his own. He placed the lightsaber back in between his bed and the nightstand, and settled into bed. He knew what to do. Occam's razor. _Occam's razor._ What he was planning on doing was for the best, and would relieve him of all of his troubles. He didn't need another nightmare or another session of Leonard indirectly guilting him.

Sheldon found it hard to sleep that night.

* * *

It was three days later, when Sheldon managed to get Penny alone.

Three days, six hours, eight minutes, and forty seven seconds later—to be precise. Not that he was counting.

He had stayed late for work, and she had just finished breakfast. Three whole days of his guilt eating him had passed, and he had set his mind on finishing what he was going on between him and Penny. But when he saw Penny, cheerful and happy to see him—he started to doubt his mission. Could he do it while Penny was this positive? Could he really do this? Should he first engage in banal chit chat to lessen the blow of the seriousness of the topic he would be bringing up? Was he supposed to get her a gift basket for her troubles? Could he not just do this via text message? Was Leonard's happiness really that important?

_"If that's true, then you should have treated me that way. I'm not a toy, Sheldon. What you're doing is just hurting Leonard, and you're hurting me."_

When that line flashed in his mind, all of his doubt was disregarded. He needed to do it, for his pathetic friend, for Penny, and for himself. The Amy from his dream was right, they would all be miserable if he and Penny continued their trysts. He was a man of science—an evolved, intelligent man that was above his primitive urges. He may have gave in once, but this was where he ended it. Penny was temptation, and was the road block that stopped him from focusing on what he should be doing. Instead of maintaining his REM cycle, he was sneaking out to meet with her. Instead of pondering on how he would change the world by proving string theory, he was stuck wondering on what Penny was doing, and when he would see her again. She was just a distraction—an obstacle that he had to overpass to further prove that he was far more evolved than everyone else. Penny was just temptation, that he had foolishly given into. Once Penny was returned to her original position as a valued friend in his life, he will be able to continue devoting his life to science.

Besides, Penny could easily seduce someone else, like Leonard. She _was_ already in the middle of getting back together with him. There was no reason for him to continue their affair any longer. He was not a bridge that could be lain down to cross a gap in her life. He was destined for far better, impressive things in life than being Penny's coitus buddy. Like winning the Nobel, and being the person who proved what was seemingly impossible to prove. So, when he cut straight to the point and told her that he was ending their affair, he maintained an emotionless face to stop himself from taking it back. He was met by silence, and had to repeat it again before Penny realized what he had said.

Tears were not going to move him. They were in a relationship where emotions would not be included—and they were still going to be friends—she had no reason to cry. Regardless of how heartbroken she looked, he would not crack, even when she said something that made him want to regret what he said. Something that made his stomach lurch, his brain shut down and made him want to give himself a hard bible smacking. Because though he did not care for relationships, or people, he did care for Penny, and what she admitted made the weight on his chest heavier—not lighter, than he thought doing this would have done.

"B-but... I_ love _you, Sheldon."

Those words almost cracked him. Almost. But it didn't, and no matter how hard she cried or clung onto him, he wasn't going to crack. Regardless of how much it made him feel as if he was the bad guy and not the hero he always thought he was. Maybe he was the villain that liked to hurt other people. He didn't expect her to react that way—he did not expect Penny to be that affected. The scenario that played out in his head repeatedly was of Penny shrugging at his words, and quickly moving on. The math didn't tell him that she would be crying, desperately trying to make him change his mind. It didn't tell him that it would make her reveal her affection for him, and that seeing Penny that way would make him feel pain that he had never felt before. But, he wasn't going to take it back and allow the voices to get louder—or worse—become real. Because it was done, and final, and could not be changed, even if Penny crying hurt him more than he expected. Even if it made him want to smash his head against the wall, and shoot Leonard and his conscience for forcing him to do this.

Without anything else said, he left her in her apartment, crying and heartbroken, and he still remained emotionless. He took the bus, even without his bus pants. He deserved the germs and diseases that he would get from the bus. He deserved to get violently killed if the bus ever crashes and the lousy seat-belts fails to save him. Maybe he'd get both—he felt so horrible that he didn't find the thought as bad as it should have been. Luckily, the weight and the arrows from Leonard had now disappeared. They were gone, and he could hear the voices slowly vanishing. He was free of his guilt of supposedly "betraying" Leonard by being with Penny.

But, no matter how much he tried to stay calm and stoic, the picture of Penny crying as he left haunted him. Of her crying, alone, in her apartment, leaning on alcohol to lessen the pain he caused her. The image crawled under his skin and made him want to scream. The weight and arrows were gone; but hurting Penny placed a weight _a hundred_ times heavier than the previous one, and instead of arrows piercing his back, he felt swords slicing through him each second that he spent, _pretending_ that seeing Penny like that did not hurt him. She may have been a nuisance, but underneath the layers of his annoyance with her, he cared for her—more than he did for the others. More than Leonard, even. He could hear Penny's choked voice ringing in his ears, and her confession scarred him to the core. He was absolutely absolutely despicable, and he was an even bigger traitor than Leonard when he denied him of Switzerland. Penny was his friend, and he betrayed her by hurting her. However, it had to be done, or else they would all have been miserable. Frustrating as it was that he had to hurt Penny in order to avoid hurting Leonard, it was the right thing to do.

Besides, continuing his affair with Penny would have made him far more miserable than how he was now, right?

He hoped Leonard would appreciate this, one day.

* * *

**Up next: Sheldon copes with Penny's anger, and Amy enters the picture.**

**Preview: **

Sheldon glared at her; he was fuming and was currently clenching his teeth. It was one thing to realize that Penny was showing off her sexual exploits with Leonard on purpose, and it was another to actually hear her admit that she did it. How was he supposed to be friends with her when she acted like this?


	3. subterfuge

**I love vacations, but like Sheldon once said, in order for one to go on a vacation, one must be working. Or something.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own the Big Bang Theory or it's characters and am just borrowing them cause why the heck not. This was only read through once, and may contain several spelling mistakes and grammatical errors that I fully take responsibility of. Also, somewhat mild sexual content. Yay.**

* * *

_subterfuge_ (noun) - deceit used in order to achieve one's goal;

* * *

Five days, sixteen hours, five minutes and twenty seconds. That was how much time passed since Sheldon ended his affair with Penny.

Four days, ten hours, eighteen minutes and forty-seven seconds. This was how much time passed since Sheldon received a text from Leonard saying that he was some sort of luck charm and that he and Penny had gotten back together.

He didn't intend to be counting, it just happened.

Sheldon had spent four days, seventeen hours, thirty-two minutes and two seconds, bottling up all the anger he had. Anger that Penny did go running back to Leonard. Anger at Leonard and Penny being all sweet and nauseating as they ate their takeout. Anger at Leonard getting all happy and disgustingly positive and bragging to them about how he and Penny would never break up again. Anger at Howard and Raj congratulating Leonard and even berating him for not being happy for his so-called best friend. Anger at Leonard for telling him one night that if it hadn't been for him and his encouragement the other night, things might not have happened. Anger at Penny who pretended as if everything was okay between them even though nothing was. Anger at him being within _earshot_ of Leonard and Penny having _coitus_, and he swore that Penny raised her voice just to make sure that he would hear. And anger at himself for thinking that his actions would make everything better.

Leonard and Penny's rekindled relationship was toe curling, nauseating, infuriating, pathetically desperate and made him want to kill them both. Via nuclear laser, or radioactive waste hidden in their food, he didnt care as long as it did the job. He was not jealous—why would he be—he just wished that they would at least respect the fact that he was in the _next room_ and that Penny's sickeningly loud voice was impossible to not hear! And, to make matters worse, his supposed noise canceling headphones broke. While Penny screamed Leonard's name at the top of her lungs. Even the people in New York would have heard her. Maybe even the people in India heard her. It might have echoed around the world, frightening innocent Chinese children and causing nuns in convents to pray for whoever's soul that was to be saved from eternal damnation. By the next scream Penny released, he made sure to leave as quietly as he could—his emergency overnight bag slung over his shoulder—and to find solace in a place where he was far from the infuriating cacophony that was two disgusting animals in heat.

His first stop of the night was Raj's. The cheerful astrophysicist didn't turn him down and was even happy to invite him in. Raj was in the middle of a 'Flying Nun' marathon and allowed him to sleep in his bed. Everything was okay; Raj kept the TV's volume low enough for him to ignore, his bed was good and everything was better than Leonard and Penny in the next room. Keyword; _was_. Right as he was about to fall asleep, he felt _something _making it's way under his blanket.

It was Raj's dog, Cinnamon.

Without a second thought, he left the room and asked Raj to drive him to a different house. He had originally intended to stop at Howard's house, but he remembered that Howard now lived with Bernadette, and that Mrs. Wolowitz (the first one) liked to barge into the bathroom unannounced. Then he thought of going to Bernadette's place, but he remembered that Howard was there. And that they would force him to sleep on an inflatable, or the couch. And that they might be engaging in an even more incredulously disgusting activity than Leonard and Penny. Scratch that, nothing was more incredulously disgusting than being within earshot of Leonard and Penny engaging in coitus. That, and the added theory that Penny was doing it on purpose. So, he was left with no other choice, and asked Raj to drop him at Amy's. Sadly, his former girlfriend wasn't as happy to see him as his friend did, and nearly forced him to sleep outside her apartment. Then, nearly half an hour later, after a lengthy explanation on why she _should _let him stay there—she agreed.

His and Amy's breakup happened two months before the disgusting couple's. It was a mutual decision, and they had agreed that they would remain as friends, confidants, and intellectual partners. They even agreed that if—by the time that he turns thirty-seven and she turns thirty-five—and they are still spouse-less, they will get a surrogate and have a child together. Not because they need to, but to make sure that their intelligence will be passed down and will not be wasted. It was what they planned since the start of their friendship, and he wondered if that was what they were really going to do. Regardless of their breakup, they still hung out together as often as they could, and he found that to his liking as Amy was also a treasured close friend that he sometimes wished he treated better.

The reason they broke up was—if you were wondering—because Amy had come to realize that she did not, in any way, have sexual attraction to him. This was explained via a handwritten log Amy sent Sheldon, a month after they first had coitus. Amy had been prodding him to 'take their relationship to the next level' and after much hesitation, pondering and convincing, he agreed. Their first time was not—as some would say—romantic, it was here in her apartment after a delectable meal she made, after an hour of 'foreplay' and started when Amy thought that she was ready. He thought coitus—at first—was messy, repulsive, unnecessary, tiring, and icky. Coitus with Amy, however, was surprisingly satisfactory and was not as unpleasant as he thought. It was _okay_, but there was nothing to compare it to. A month later, after six sessions of satisfactory coitus, Amy suggested to terminate the relationship agreement, and he agreed.

Actually, the real reason why Amy suggested such, was because he failed to tell her that he loved her. He would be lying if he did, and everyone knew that he couldn't lie. So, they broke up, took a month apart from each other, and after that returned to being the intellectual partners they were. The topic of coitus was never brought up again, and Amy had even dated a few men. His affair with Penny started four months after he and Amy broke up, when the blonde had somehow seduced him without him realizing it. That was when he finally found something to compare coitus with Amy to. Coitus with Amy was _nothing_ compared to coitus with Penny, and that was the reason he constantly went back to her and why it had lasted so long. It made him regret not entertaining the idea of coitus earlier in his life, but then realized that it was coitus with Penny that was more than satisfactory. Until, of course, that fateful day—six days, ten hours, seven minutes and fifteen seconds—when his horrible incubus persuaded him (and Leonard being his pathetic self) to end it with Penny. All the sadness, and pain of seeing Penny heartbroken disappeared the moment he saw Penny flirting with Leonard as they flirted during dinner. She didn't look upset—no, she looked happy, as if she had hit gold. Though this was what he wanted to happen, the sight still upset him. The remaining sadness and pain of hurting Penny was replaced by hatred and repulsion when they carelessly had coitus to spite him, which brought him back to Amy.

Amy Farrah Fowler, his dear friend, confidant, and intellectual partner that he sometimes wished he had given the love she wanted. Though there was reluctance at first—mainly because her apartment was where they mostly had sexual intercourse—she had treated him kindly after a well rested sleep. Amy had even gone so far as to cook him breakfast, pancakes, drizzled with his favorite syrup, and well toasted bacon that _almost_ reminded him of his mother's greasy, unhealthy yet devilishly delicious cooking. Amy wasn't the best cook, but she has gained his respect at the art. Like him, Amy strived to be great—if not excellent—at most skills which included cooking. It was one of his appreciated traits of Amy's and why he liked having her as his girlfriend.

"So," the neurobiologist started, taking a sip of coffee, "what exactly forced you to take refuge here in my apartment at such a questionable hour?"

Sheldon gazed up from his Mario shaped pancakes, giving her a small frown. "Though it pains me to recall and reiterate what caused me to flee from my own home, I shall do it for academic purposes, and as a gesture of gratitude for allowing me to stay here for the night. And for this wonderfully shaped and amazingly detailed pancakes." Amy nodded, clearly flattered at the compliment. "Well, when people enter a relationship as long as we did, it is imperative to memorize their favorites. Think of it as reciprocity for you always bringing me those cupcakes that is near the university. Please do continue what you have started."

"Very well," he placed his fork down, grabbing a tissue to wipe syrup that had stuck at the corner of his mouth. "I was in the middle of sleeping when Leonard and Penny had decided to ruin my pleasant slumber by engaging in coitus in the next room." He scowled at the memory, and Amy let out a small gasp. "That sounds inexplicably rude! Did you not make use of your noise canceling headphones?"

Sheldon sighed, trying to die his anger at the memory down. "Sadly it broke right as Penny woke up everyone from Pasadena to Asia and back. It has even made me sympathize with the poor innocent children from around the world who may or may not have heard the agony that was Penny supposedly getting pleased by Leonard." The brunette shook her head, feeling for sorry for her former boyfriend. She knew about Penny's sexual tendencies, and it wasn't impossible for what Sheldon said to be true. Though a bit over exaggerated, she couldn't blame him as there was nothing worse than a pleasant slumber being disrupted. "I shudder at the thought, yet also find it oddly interesting to hear that Leonard is great enough in bed to induce such an intense response."

"And what exactly makes it interesting?" The physicist curiously asked.

"Not interesting, per say," Amy said, looking a bit confused, "but bestie has mentioned several times that Leonard is 'okay' in the aspect of the bedroom. It somehow eludes me how it is possible for a reaction as intense—as you say—to be stimulated by someone who is supposedly _okay_." Sheldon nodded, completely agreeing with Amy. He knew that Penny was doing it on purpose, specifically for him to hear. The only time that Penny had been that... loud with Leonard was when she was drunk, and had destroyed the beloved catchphrase that is 'Yee-haw' for everyone in the building. And he was pretty sure that Penny did it because she was inebriated, and her brain had somehow shut down. To put it simply, both he and Amy refused to believe that Leonard excelled in sex.

"I understand your thoughts on the matter and agree whole heartedly. Though, may we cease this conversation of the very thing that makes me want to burn the specific part of my mind that deals with memory?"

"I apologize for dragging it further, it was pure curiosity and will not happen again. Please," she gestured to the food in front of them, "continue eating."

He didn't want to discuss it anymore—it was getting frustrating, and it was already infuriating on its own. He was pretty sure that things would get even more infuriating once he returned to his apartment, and that this was only the start of Penny terrorizing the peace. There was more to come, and he briefly wondered if it would be better to stay here at Amy's place. It was clean, spacious, comely and was far away from catastrophe. And, it was nice to be around Amy. She always understood him—well, except for his reluctance to intercourse. She always wanted that from him, and he always denied her of that, and when he did agree—it led to the end of their relationship.

"Amy," Sheldon started after a while of silence, "it embarrasses me to ask this of you, but I find it better to bring it up now, rather than later when I've forcefully endured another session of armageddon."

The brunette raised an eyebrow, swallowing before speaking. She knew that Sheldon hated people who talked with food in their mouth. "And that is?"

"I have a strong feeling that—with Leonard and Penny getting back together—there is a big possibility that this will happen, again. I, in no way, want to endure any more of that horrifying experience, and am wondering if it will be okay if I may stay here when it does happen." Amy just stared at him, and he decided that he'll just stay at Raj's and somehow convince him to cage his dog. "It is acceptable if you refuse, I just thought that this is the best choice of th—"

Amy held up a hand, silencing him as she cleared her throat. "I thought about it for a second, mostly due to personal reasons, but I have come to a conclusion. I will allow you to stay here whenever so you please." Sheldon blinked—unable to process what had happened—then Amy grinned widely. "Plus, I have learned a variety of new songs on the harp and am metaphorically dying to hear your opinion!" The brunette then turned her head to where her harp was, and quickly rushed over to it. "I have learned to play the Brady Bunch theme song, and I think this is the perfect time to show you!" She dragged the instrument towards the couch, running her fingers over the strings before staring at him with pure excitement. "Please refrain from falling asleep as this will be absolutely relaxing."

Sheldon slowly smiled, maybe staying with Amy would be okay.

Anything was better than Penny having coitus in the next room.

* * *

"—and you're saying that if _I_ were to go to this lecture, it will change my view on how the brain works?"

Amy solemnly nodded, gripping the strap of her bag as they made their way up to the apartment. "One of my favorite neurobiologists will be talking, and I can safely say that her work will—as they say—blow you away. At first I thought that it would be pure hokum, but her book on why people tend to act a certain way allowed me to understand why most people have inferiority complex. It was truly an eye opener, and was very entertaining at the same time. I'll lend you the book once we get home."

"Maybe we can stop by the train store afterwards?" Sheldon suggested as they passed the third floor landing. They were currently going to the apartment to get his clothes and other belongings that he would be taking to Amy's apartment. Then, after they drop off his clothes at her place, they would be attending a conference in Burbank where one of Amy's respected neurobiologist would be speaking. He had decided that it would be better for him to stay at her apartment immediately, rather than wait for something atrocious to happen. He wasn't sure how long he was going to stay at Amy's, but he would stay as long as he could to stay away from Penny. Because he knew, that if he were to witness one more display of affection from Penny and Leonard where they would kiss, and Penny would be looking at him than at Leonard—he would surely find a way to destroy the apartment complex with the two trapped inside.

"If you agree to eat somewhere different than the usual, we might." Sheldon curled his lip at the brunette who was smirking up at him. Darn her and her full understanding of how his schedule and routine worked. Maybe the train store could wait. "You know that I only eat at—"

Amy shushed him by frantically waving a hand at him, quickly making her way to the fourth floor. He watched as she approached 4A's door, sticking her head beside it, then quietly walked back to him. "I heard bestie's giggle!" She whispered cautiously, pointing a finger towards the door. "Brace yourself, as my intuition and complete understanding of how my bestie's brain works are telling me that something much to your disapproval—and possibly, horror—is happening right at this moment!" Sheldon couldn't tell if Amy was excited, or was worried. The way her eyebrows furrowed told him the latter, but the way her eyes lit up told him that it was the former. "You don't mean...?" She nodded frantically, taking a deep breath before she spoke. "Yes, I think that they are either engaging in coitus, or are close to doing so."

Amy sighed wistfully, shaking her head in disapproval. "Bestie really needs to learn how to be discreet, and to be mindful of others. There might be a sex addict roaming around Pasadena who will be able to sense them engaging in coitus, and will waste no time in heading here to whisk Penny away for ravaging and Leonard for the mere pleasure of beating someone up." Sheldon gnashed his teeth together, his nails clawing at the straps of his messenger bag. _That_ was what Amy was so worried about? "Are you sure you want to continue? We can get clothes _after_ the conference if this bothers you." Oh, if only Amy knew how much it bothered him. He could finally hear what Amy was talking about. Penny was giggling idiotically, and he could hear Leonard saying something about keeping it down. But by the tone of Leonard's voice, he wasn't trying to quiet her for the sake of others, no he was saying it with so much liveliness that Sheldon decided that he would spare no thought in killing Leonard if he ever turned into a zombie.

"No," he said with a deep breath, "we're getting the clothes now. When dusk falls, I'm sure that they will be heading for something far more obscene than what we are currently hearing. Will you help me pack to further speed up our pace?" Amy nodded, an understanding look on her face. If only she did understand why he wanted to leave the apartment as quickly and as far away as he could. "Of course. The faster we leave, the faster we can get in line for the book signing. And we might even stop by the train store to ease your mind of this traumatizing event." When Amy held his hand, he didn't even flinch and found it somehow comforting. With a few seconds of dying his anger down, they proceeded towards the door.

"Oh god—Penny, that feels so good!"

"And you wanted me to keep my voice down."

"Someone might hear—oh—us!"

_"Let them hear."_

Amy placed a hand on his back, calming him down, when she felt him tighten his grasp on her hand. It was the last line that struck him the most, and it made his blood boil, his skin crawl and his vision to go dark. He was right—Penny did it on purpose, to annoy him, to frustrate him! Maybe Wil Wheaton was never his number one enemy, maybe it was Penny all along. Because now, when all of his guilt of hurting her had disappeared, all he could see was red when he thought of Penny. Dark, dark red when he thought of Penny and the wicked smile he sent her whenever she flirted with and kissed Leonard. An even darker shade of red when he thought of how Penny made sure that he would hear her having coitus with Leonard. And it turned black when he remembered how she looked so hurt when he ended their affair. But once it turned black, it didn't take a second for it turn red again.

"Let's go," he told Amy as he unlocked the door, and found himself so enraged that he would be capable of murder.

There, on _his_ spot, was Leonard with his pants down to his knees. And on his lap, sat Penny—in her underwear—a hand gripping Leonard's... and another hand wrapped around Leonard's neck. Amy gasped, Leonard pushed Penny off him and quickly pulled his pants up, and Penny simply stared at him. Sheldon, on the other hand, restrained _every_ murderous intent and anger he had—which took everything in his being to do—and simply scowled in distaste, like what the Sheldon before would do. The Sheldon that never got involved with Penny in the first place, and did not feel any ounce of compassion for Leonard. Although, now, he was sure that any ounce of respect and compassion for Leonard had died and had been replaced with something close to being neutral. He couldn't say the same for Penny, though.

"Sheldon—" Leonard cried, turning to Penny then at Sheldon, "I can explai—"

This was why he was staying at Amy's for the time being, he reminded himself. Sheldon raised a hand, shaking his head and softening his grasp on Amy's hand. He could tell that Penny noticed this. "No need for explanation. Please be in mind that I am awarding both of you _ten_ strikes, and are both required to take the online classes." Sheldon calmly said, tugging at Amy's hand as he made his way to his desk to get his laptop. "However, the strikes will only suffice once I return here, so feel free to take the class while I'm gone. Any offense made while I am not here will not be regarded, don't worry."

Leonard furrowed his eyebrows, watching Sheldon stuff his laptop in his messenger bag. "Wait, what do you mean, while you're gone?"

The theoretical physicist glanced at them—ignoring the glare Penny sent him—before crouching down to collect a few DVDs and games. "I will be momentarily staying with Amy as we have collaborated on an experiment that will change humanity." By experiment that will change humanity, he meant him refraining from killing both Leonard and Penny, causing him to be sent to prison, which will prevent him from solving the questions of the universe that will lead to a Nobel as prison is not kind to brilliant minds.

"An experiment?" He heard Penny say, and was glad that Amy was the one to respond as he continued taking the CDs which he rightfully owned. "Yes, an experiment. We thought of a way of combining my work with monkeys and his work to analyze the theory of evolution and how it is connected to string theory over a wonderful meal I prepared this morning when he stayed over. After this, we are off to a conference where my favorite neuroscientist will be talking about her book. We will also be asking her if she could contribute to our study. Right, Sheldon?" Once he placed all the CDs in his bag, he stood and turned to Amy. "Yes, that's right. Now, Amy and I have some packing to do."

"Sheldon, come on," Leonard said as they head to his room, the short man behind them. "You don't have to do this! This won't happen again, I swear."

Sheldon pulled a duffel bag from his closet and handed it to Amy, who was already pulling out clothes that she knew was in cycle. "Oh, Leonard, please refrain from thinking that I'm doing this because of you." He gave his best—was he still his best friend?—a small smile and shoved the neatly folded clothes into the bag. "I'm doing this for the sake of science, and all of the future children who will be inspired by what I sacrificed in order to achieve such success. Don't worry, I'll thank you in my speech, and in the book that I will publish called, Science and Everything Around it."

"Is it because of last night?" Sheldon resisted looking up and telling him that it was, and instead focused on grabbing a few of his favorite comic books. "Sheldon, I swear, it won't happen again. It was just that Penny was so—" Sheldon cut him off by loudly zipping his bag, "I'm afraid I don't care much about your exploits with Penny. Though, I believe Howard might be interested." He slung the bag over his shoulder, and motioned to Amy. "Please cut to the chase, Leonard, as Amy and I have far more important things to do." Leonard gaped, and he took it as his cue to walk out of his room, Amy connecting her hand with his an Leonard still behind them.

"I promise that we'll never do it here, and we'll take it to Penny's!" 4B, Penny's apartment, where Sheldon had spent many days and nights engaging in various obscene activities with said woman? Was Leonard suggesting that instead of having Sheldon listen to Penny's foul mouth ruin his hearing in the next room, they'll make Sheldon listen to the same, in the place where he and Penny had coitus in so many times before? Well, that would certainly sever any connection he had with 4B, and might make him change his mind. But it won't, and Amy promised to make him spaghetti with little cut up hot dogs if he stayed awake while she played the harp. Unlike Penny's _crispy_, uncooked, sorry excuse for spaghetti, Amy's was delightful and slightly reminded him of home.

"Yes, you go do that." Sheldon huffed—clearly unimpressed—as he entered the living room, where Penny was still sitting on the couch, sharp green eyes staring pointedly at him. She looked mad. Why in the world would she be mad when it was her who had tarnished his spot and everything dear to him? "Well, have fun with Penny." With one last glance at the blonde who never took her eyes off of him, he exited the apartment. If he stayed any longer, nothing good would happen. Sheldon stood at the third floor landing, and waited for Amy to arrive.

"Amy, please make him change his mind," Leonard begged, causing Amy to frown.

"We both know that it is impossible to make Sheldon change his mind when it's set. It bothers me why you aren't happy with the arrangement where you and Penny will be able to freely do as you please. Why is that?" The brunette asked, only a few steps from the door. Leonard scratched the back of his neck, glancing at Penny who had a blank look on her face. "It was Sheldon who got Penny and I to get back together, and it guilts me to think that I drove him away. After the wonderful thing he did for me."

"That is wonderful, but I believe it is you who must tell Sheldon that." She opened the front door, and gave Penny a wide grin. "Bestie, I forgot to tell you that you look great and are sexier than ever! Please call me sometime for some girl talk or for girl's night, and have a fun day with Leonard." She waved to the blonde who sent her a small smile before she went to Sheldon.

Once Amy left, and Leonard went to his room to change, Penny uncurled her fingers and saw that her nails had scarred her palm. None of them saw how she glared at Sheldon and Amy holding hands, and none of them knew about the anger she was keeping inside. She was not—in any way—happy to see that Sheldon had gotten even more friendly with Amy, and she definitely was not happy to know that he would be staying over at Amy's. If he wasn't staying here, then he wouldn't be there to hear her have a "wonderful" time with Leonard. He wouldn't be there to experience the pain he gave her—and that made her angry. Because Dr. Sheldon—fucking—Cooper was not going to just pretend as if nothing happened between them, and move on to Amy, and that he didn't hurt her so much that she still cried until her body felt shallow.

Her plan wasn't working.

* * *

Surprisingly, the lie that they were doing an experiment became real, and soon, Sheldon and Amy were working on research that combined both of their works.

Sheldon had found life at Amy's serendipitous, and had enjoyed it far more than he expected. Though, it was mostly because they were busy with conducting experiments and research, it was a good change from Leonard's whining. He had visited the apartment three times within the week that he had stayed at Amy's. The first was when he had forgot his USB; the second time was when he had to do his laundry, and the third was to get additional books that supported string theory. Leonard kept his word, and during those three times, he never did see Leonard and Penny ravishing each other or together. Not even once. Leonard had said that it was because Penny had got a role playing a secondary character at a theatre in Los Angeles, and would be busy for a while. That, and that Penny had somehow asked Leonard that they take their relationship 'slow'—he snorted at that, but as long as they refrained from doing blasphemous things, he was okay with it. That information made Sheldon decide that maybe it was time to return to his apartment. As much as he enjoyed Amy's apartment, he missed his bed and the couch wasn't as comfortable as he originally thought.

Also, he had found his anger at Penny and Leonard slowly disappearing as the week went by. Amy had exerted a lot of effort to make sure of it, and he was thankful for that. Amy getting back into the picture had helped him, and he was glad that she was still his friend. The research they were conducting was also a good distraction, as it constantly made him busy with trying to connect their works together. Amy had thought that the reason why he was so infuriated and offended by Leonard and Penny's actions was because he had reverted back into hating anything connected to coitus.

So, when Amy texted him earlier, notifying him that girl's night would be held at her apartment, he was not at all worried at the thought of facing Penny, again.

Which was proven to be wrong; because everything seemed like a cruel joke played by his mother's god, when Penny appeared at Amy's doorstep. While Amy was still out at work. And he was all alone, watching the documentary about the history of vehicles while enjoying a pack of Red Vines. Amy had said that Penny and Bernadette would be arriving sometime between eight and eight thirty. It was _seven_, he supposedly had an hour before figuring out where he would go and what he would do while the women bonded. He still had an hour to enjoy his movie before he would be forced to skedaddle once Penny arrived. Because the moment he swung the door open to find the blonde grinning up at him, his composure had been shattered by something akin to Thor's hammer.

"Hey, Sheldon." She had greeted, grinning up at him as she held a grocery bag filled with bottles of alcohol. "Nice to see you again."

He narrowed his eyes at her, placing a hand on the doorframe to refrain her from entering the apartment. "What are _you_ doing here?" Her smile bothered him. It wasn't one of a happy, innocent and friendly smile—no, it was scheming and manipulative and made him want to slam the door in her face. As much as he wanted to just let her in and just leave the apartment, he couldn't as he had nowhere to go. It was Anything Can Happen Thursday, and he had already received text messages from both Leonard and Raj asking if he wanted to join them out to a geologist's party. He didn't like that geologist, and had no respect for the field in general, so he refused. Then Amy texted him, and then Penny appeared, and now he was rethinking on whether or not to go to the party. However, if he would tell Amy that he would be going to the party, she would seem suspicious on why he left. She had already told him that he could just stay in her room and watch a movie, and that was what he was planning on doing—once Amy arrives.

"Didn't you hear? Girl's night is at Amy's." Her smile was unfaltering, and she sounded sarcastic. "This _is_ Amy's place, is it not?"

The physicist scowled down at her and her suspicious positivity. How could she be so friendly, when just last week she was close to murdering him with her eyes? Maybe she finally moved on from him. That would be wonderful news, if that was true. It would mean that he would be able to return to his apartment to continue his peaceful life without her presence spiting him. "Yes, this is her apartment. Amy informed me that you and Bernadette would be arriving an hour from now. Why are you here?" Penny shook her head in amusement, as if he had said a funny joke. "I wasn't doing anything, so I thought that I'd get here a bit earlier. And _look_," she dragged the last word as she slightly lifted the bag in her arms, "I brought alcohol!"

"I fail to understand the reason as to why you think that that is relevant and am still skeptical of this uncharacteristic action. What are you planning on doing?"

Penny's smile slightly dropped, and for a second, he saw a glint of murderous intent in her eyes. "I'm planning on getting inside the damn apartment for girl's night, and if you don't let me in right now, I will make sure to smash all four of these wine bottles on your head." It was amazing how frightening Penny could be, even with a smile and a sugary sweet tone coating the threat. With a small sigh, he stepped back and allowed the blonde to enter, a triumphant smirk on her face as she made her way towards the kitchen. "See, that wasn't hard at all." He ignored her, and returned to his spot on the couch to watch the documentary. Maybe he could head out to the comic book store... but he didn't pack his bus pants, and the alcohol would surely impair Amy's senses enough to not be able to pick him up.

"What are you watching?" The blonde asked as she sat down beside him, forcing him to scoot over to the other end of the couch. Although he was trying to stay away from her, there was still a part of him that wished that they would at least be civil with each other and return to being friends. Because although he now had a strong dislike for her, he still had some friendly attachment to her. She had been his friend for years, and was even close to what one considers as a best friend. They had gone through a lot, and losing her friendship would have proven that all his years spent trying to accommodate her in his life were a complete utter waste of time. That, and that he would have to depend on Leonard again to sing soft kitty when he's sick.

"A documentary on the history of the evolution of vehicles." He hastily answered, keeping his attention on the tv and not on the blonde beside him. Even with his peripheral vision, he couldn't tell what Penny was doing, and decided that it was better to just act normally. He really had no reason to get nervous, they were just two friends conversing. "I see," she remarked, and he felt the couch shift. "So, what have you been up to lately? I haven't seen you in week." Two friends catching up, that's what they were, not awkward former paramours who ended things on a bad note. Secretly, Sheldon missed Penny and her mooching ways and horrible habits. He didn't miss the way she kissed him, or how she moaned his name. Or how her blasted nails always left him scars that stung. Or how she felt under him. Nope, not at all.

He gestured to the papers scattered on top of the coffee table. "I've been busy with trying to find a connection between my work and Amy's work. We're still trying to search through other books and published works, though, but I believe that this will be a fruitful collaboration between the two of us. And what have you been up to, Penny?"

"Well, I'm sure Leonard told you that I got a role in a local play, and I'm pretty much focused on doing that." Sheldon nodded absent-mindedly; Leonard told him all about it, and even showed him a video of one of Penny's rehearsals. Her acting had improved vastly, and he could say that he was somewhat awestruck at the performance. If Penny invites him, he might even agree to go. This was a fresh start at them being friends, and him being a better, supportive friend like Amy and Leonard always goaded him to be for Penny. A day ago—after Amy had returned from one of Penny's rehearsals—Amy had told him that she would be bringing him as her date on opening night. He was reluctant at first, then Amy had reminded him of all the 'good' things Penny had done for him over the years, and that this was his chance to show that he supported her career. So, due to Amy's prodding, he brought it to himself to at least _try_ to be friends with Penny. As long as Penny wasn't intending on rubbing her newfound sexual relationship with Leonard in his face, he'd do all he could to mend their broken relationship.

"Hmm," Penny said in thought, tapping a finger on her chin. "Other than that, I've been trying to show this _idiot_ what he lost by being—you know—an idiot. I'm not sure if you know him—though you might—he's tall and supposedly a genius, and is about to experience a world of hurt for ending things with me. Because he has to know that I'm not gonna let him rest easy until he realizes that it was wrong of him to not choose me, just because his best friend got dramatic. That's not a valid reason, and it will never be one." How did Penny find out that he did it for Leonard? He never mentioned Leonard when he ended things with her! How did Penny realize that he did it for Leonard?!

Sheldon warily turned to the blonde, who had returned the mischievous grin on her face. "What, why are you looking at me like that? Is it because you're shocked that I knew that you did it for Leonard's sake?" He chose to remain silent, and simply nodded. When did Penny turn into a mind reader? "Well, if you must know, after I spent a day crying over you, it just came to me—out of nowhere—that this was probably because of Leonard. Leonard had been trying to get back with me for months now, and the only reason I rejected him, was because I was with my beloved _Sheldon_." The way she said his name unnerved him to a great extent; it reminded him of how she moaned his name during coitus, and that he loved hearing her say it. The revelation that Leonard had been trying to get back with her for _months_ had also irked him. All he knew was that Leonard tried to get back with her the night that he had his nightmare—since when had Leonard tried to regain Penny's affection?

And why did Penny never tell him this?

"I know that you're staying here because you hate seeing me with Leonard, and that you noticed _every_ single display I did for you." The blonde chuckled, causing Sheldon to feel uncertain of what would happen next. It would be a lie to say that he did not fear what Penny was planning on doing, and that he regretted letting her inside. "I made sure that you'd hear every single moan I made—well, faked—and that you'd witness all of it. It took a lot to convince Leonard to have sex on your spot, but it's such a shame that you ruined the moment. But, no worries, what you saw was an even better revenge than sex on your spot. Tell me, Sheldon, did you enjoy what you saw? Cause I did it just for you."

Sheldon glared at her; he was fuming and was currently clenching his teeth. It was one thing to realize that Penny was showing off her sexual exploits with Leonard on purpose, and it was another to actually hear her admit that she did it. How was he supposed to be friends with her when she acted like this? Though it eluded him why Penny was doing all this (probably to spite him) he still intended on mending their friendship. For Amy; who wanted him to be nicer to Sheldon; for Leonard; whose wallowing had led him to this situation; and for himself, because Penny was a good friend to him through the years. But she was making it hard for him to be civil to her.

"If we are honestly speaking, your actions have repulsed me, and bear in mind that you have an outstanding number of strikes that you have yet to resolve. Have you checked online for the classes?" Sheldon turned his attention back to the now finished documentary, ignoring the way Penny was looking at him. "Banishment and corresponding punishment will be allotted once I return to the apartment."

Without any warning, Penny closed the distance between them and leaned over his shoulder, a hand on his knee. "If I recall correctly, there's a way to make some strikes disappear." Sheldon's eyes widened as Penny's fingers slowly crept up his leg. He tried to move—to leap up from the couch and make a run for it, but he was paralyzed. Well, that, and the fact that Penny's fingers were causing a reaction in him; one that he wasn't supposed to feel. "There is no way other than to take the online classes. You of all people should know that, Penny." He hissed, frustrated that his body was betraying him.

Penny smirked, moving closer to his face and whispering in his ear. "And you of all people should know that I can find other ways to remove those strikes," she gave his neck a small kiss while her hand rubbed the erection that was growing in his pants. Sheldon growled at her and she laughed. Sheldon's greatest weakness would always be her, and they both knew that. She wasn't going to let Sheldon just disregard her; and she definitely _was not_ going to let him choose Amy over her. "What, got nothing else to say Sheldon? I thought that Homo Novus was better than his primitive urges? But by the rate things are going, it seems like Homo Novus is enjoying this." She brought her vacant hand up to his face, turning it to face her. "I think," she slowly said, dragging a finger down his lips, "you're enjoying this, Sheldon."

Sheldon glared at her, and all she could see was the desire in his eyes. "Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken."

"Well, your ken can kiss my barbie."

She leaned upwards and was met with no resistance; he even bent his head down to meet her. A guttural groan escaped from the pit of his stomach and he felt his body pulsating with fire when her arms snaked from his chest to around his neck. Penny's tongue rammed itself against his, and he was quickly losing control of himself. She was the most delicious mix of sweetness and danger that he had ever had—and it was just so _addicting_ that he couldn't have enough of her. He needed more of this—and he was starting to regret even caring for Leonard. She was like hallucinogen. His mind was spinning deeper and deeper into the insanity that was this alluring woman. His brain seemed to be short circuiting as she ravaged his mouth. Whenever he was with Penny, his mind always went to a complete stop. As if she was the only thing worth focusing on; and that frustrated him. He was Homo Novus, and Homo Novus did not give in to illicit activities—

—Penny was now on top of him. She had—without him noticing—swung her legs over his body, and planted each leg on either side of his hips. Her pelvis was now grinding into him as her hands grasped each side of his face. She was kissing him with so much fervor and heat that she was sure that Sheldon would regret ever thinking of pushing her towards Leonard. Because that was the only the reason she even got back together with Leonard—to get back at Sheldon. Well, she and Leonard hadn't really gotten back together; they were taking things _slow_. Oh, bullshit; she had no plans of doing that. There was no way in hell she was going to have sex with Leonard. Not when she knew how amazing sex was with Sheldon was. If she could, she wouldn't get back together with Leonard no matter how much Sheldon begged. The day that Sheldon ended things was the day that she realized that her relationship with Leonard was hopeless. It was, and everything with him was just for show.

For Sheldon.

She kept kissing him; pushing her heated center into his stiff-and-growing erection, running her fingernails down his chest—making his skin stand at attention and practically scream. Then his hands left her face and grasped her hips, when she came down he pulled her down—_hard_. Her mouth ripped from his and she gasped at the intense feeling. Sheldon almost whined at the loss of her mouth but instead turned to her neck and started nipping on her neck. Penny didn't stop moving against him and he didn't stop pulling her to him. In the back of his mind he realized that he was going back on his word by doing all these things to her. But it was impossible to stop, because it was tantalizing, terrifying, delicious and it was _Penny_. The woman who always found a way to draw him towards her, the woman who always challenged him, frustrated him, and got him to do and care about things he never did before.

Both of them kept going, the innocent couch shaking violently with their movements. The untouched couch which Amy had insisted on having coitus several times now had been b—

Leonard.

Without a second thought, Sheldon roughly pushed her off him to the side of the couch, causing Penny to seethe in anger. "What the hell Sheldon?!"

Sheldon leapt from the couch, standing across from her. "That was wrong. That was a mistake. You're dating Leonard, Penny. Did you somehow hit your head and forget that vital piece of information?" The blonde huffed, an affronted look on her face. "I don't want to be with Leonard! I'm only pretending to like him for _you!_ So that you'd open your eyes and see that I'm not meant for Leonard!" He frowned as Penny animatedly pointed a finger at him, then at herself. If she was to cry, he would not be moved. "Why can't you understand that _I love you?"_ She dragged each word out, pronouncing it clearly as she stood up. "It took less time for me to realize it with you than I did with Leonard, and I'd leave him in a heartbeat if you tell me to. I'd do it because I love you."

"I ended our liaison to ensure Leonard's happiness, Penny. He is a good friend to me, and the only thing that could make him happy is if you reciprocate his feelings!" he seethed, crossing his arms over his chest. "That means that you are to refrain from only using him to get back at me! I truly want to continue our friendship, Penny, but you are making it arduous for me to do so. Please gather all of this—_love_ you say you have for me and redirect it to Leonard; he will surely appreciate your affection more than I will."

The blonde rounded the coffee table and Sheldon quickly bolted to the other side of the couch, sending her a cautious look. "You don't understand me, Sheldon—I love _you!_ I can't just love him cause you said so—I can't just love him when I love you!"

Sheldon snorted, ignoring the hurt and desperation that was evident in Penny's eyes. He had always liked the shade of green her eyes were, and the way it got lighter when she was happy. Now it had darkened, and he wanted to end the conversation. "Yes, well, it won't be too hard. This might even be a wonderful way to practice your acting skills for that play you're preparing for. You might even be able to incorporate this in that play you were writing when we first met you," he made his way to the kitchen—Penny was still in her spot, frozen and glaring at him—and grabbed a bottle of water to calm his senses. He saw the task of maintaining his former relationship with Penny as a challenge, and losing his temper would only prevent him from doing so. It might even lead him to do things he might regret. "Though, I'd prefer that you not mention my name in your play. I wouldn't want my name tarnished because of something so... tawdry."

"You bastard." That was the last thing he heard Penny say (growl) before the front door flew open; Amy had returned.

The brunette was smiling when she entered, but it disappeared when she saw how indignant Penny looked. She glanced at Sheldon, who was calmly drinking water, then back at her best friend. "Did you two fight?" Amy had a troubled expression as she asked this. She didn't want her bestie and her male best friend-slash-ex fighting. "I did nothing wrong," Sheldon remarked, returning the bottle in the fridge and moving to the living room to grab his coat. "I will be following the guys to that party they spoke of. Please notify me once your girl's night is over. Have fun." He gave Amy a small smile, and his eyes lingered momentarily on Penny, before exiting the apartment.

"What did Sheldon do? You look upset, bestie." Amy said in concern as she walked up to the blonde. "Sheldon... was just being Sheldon. I think he's still mad at what he saw the other day." Penny mindlessly answered, deeply breathing in and out to tone her anger out. But god, she was so infuriated. "I'll talk to him," the brunette said as Penny marched to the kitchen to open a bottle of wine; she was going to need it. "It's bothersome for me to know that the two of my closest friends are in conflict. But no worries bestie, whatever the problem is, I'll get Sheldon to apologize so that we can all be happy together." The blonde blinked at Amy's sudden positivity, and quickly opened the bottle and chugged it down.

Whether Sheldon liked it, or not, he was going to see that what he did was a big mistake. Huge. She wasn't going to let him go, just like that. Not when she knew how she felt about him. If Sheldon still reacted towards her, it meant that regardless of how much pep talk he gave himself to stay away form her, he was still attracted to her. Cause he wouldn't have kissed her back if he wasn't. She had a mission, and she wasn't going to stop until she got what she wanted; and that was Sheldon. Desperately obsessive or not, she will get him, no matter what it takes.

So for now, she'll play along with this game. She'll act like she actually likes Leonard more than a friend, and that she and Sheldon are all buddy-buddy. That everything was back to they way it was before she felt something for that asshole physicist.

But, she won't play it for long, because she _will_ get Sheldon, and not even Leonard or Sheldon himself was going to stop her.

* * *

**If you were wondering, the new idea I was talking about is another M fic that features Corporate!Shenny (yet again) and will be very different from the somewhat rushed TBUM. But I'm still not writing it until I've completely given up with this one. *drinks energy drink for energy* MOTIVATION PLEASE VISIT ME ALONG WITH YOUR FRIEND INSPIRATION!**

**Up next; Penny has started to act normal around Sheldon, again. But Sheldon knows that somethings up.**

**Preview:**

"See? We're just two friends hanging out, Sheldon." Penny mused, adjusting her hamper on her hip as she and Sheldon made their way down the stairs.

Sheldon eyed the grinning blonde, and held on to the edge of his hamper. Something was off. "Friends... right. Don't you do your laundry on Fridays?"

"Unlike you, I'm not a creature of habit." The blonde answered once the reached the lobby, a casual tone accompanying her words. He had to watch out for that, sometimes her words and her intentions meant something entirely different from each other. "I don't really care much about schedules and where. Although, sometimes, I just do something when I feel like it." She pushed the laundry room door open with her free hand, allowing him to enter. "And there are times that are just pure random."

It wasn't loud, but Sheldon was sure that he heard the door's lock click.


End file.
